I’m left with no shoulder
But everybody wants to lean on me
I guess I’m their soldier
Well, who’s gonna be mine?

What can bring me back to life?
A simple word, a gesture
Someone to say you’re beautiful
Come find this buried treasure
With eyes lead to a pot of gold

I’ve given too much of myself
And now it’s driving me crazy
I’m crying out for help
Sometimes I wish someone would just come here
And save me, save me from myself

Beyonce - Save The Hero

This is my blog’s third week online (I’m pretty sure it’s third) and I’m just fascinated by all of the people that have been visiting from around the world. It is so exciting to look at the picture below and see more and more people visiting everyday. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for visiting my tiny corner of the internet. I hope I can keep giving you exactly what you’re looking for. I would love to hear from all of you (adnan@adnanrashid.com), even if it’s just a hello! Thanks again

So I’ve gone ahead and added another favorite song to My Faves (top of the page). “Camouflage” by Brandy is seriously like my anthem. It’s just a really great song about being yourself no matter what. I don’t believe in being in relationships where you have to sacrifice your true self in order to be “happy.” The people in your life should accept you for everything you are (and aren’t) and if not, pack your bags and get the hell out of there. Life’s too short to spend your time pretending to be someone you’re not. Don’t hide who you are. You owe it to yourself. You’ll always finds someone who accepts you for just who you are and they wouldn’t want you any other way.

In addition to the amazing lyrics, I’m just obsessed with Brandy’s voice in general. No joke, I think she has one of the best voices in the music industry. And she kills it on this song (especially towards the end). No one belts quite like she does. What a great song. Thanks girl.

This one only one person can understand.

You think Dorothy, Monica, Laurie, Donavan, and Josh knew that their biggest accomplishment wouldn’t be selling cd’s and making music, but rather, bringing us together so we could become “The Greatest”? “I really don’t think so.”

Shout out to the girl who has been through every adventure with me, since Scene-23.com, my partner in crime, Shanta. Loves ya. You’re my hero. Oh, and we so got this.

My parents just bought me something really exciting and all I can think about is how lucky I am. I understand that not everyone is able to have the same things I have in life. No one chooses the life they are born into and I am one of those lucky people who has been given everything they have ever asked for (because of a father who sacrificed so much just so his children could see the life he never did growing up). What’s my point? My point is that I understand the injustices, even if someone’s hard work had a lot to do with it. I understand just how lucky I am. I just want people to know that I’m not like many others that are also  privileged like me. I really do care about people and whenever I do something good for myself, I try to do good by someone else, every single day. I share things because I am excited and happy about them and never because I want to make someone feel bad (and there are a lot of people like that out there). Even if I do make others feel bad, that is never my intention. I don’t think being spoiled makes me a bad person. Being a bad person is what makes you a bad person. I say “thank you” for everything I have by trying to be the best most caring individual I can be. I say “thank you” by trying to be a good person. I say “thank you” by trying to not act like your typical snobbish spoiled brat. I say “trying” because I know I’m not perfect and that I have a lot of work to do.

My mom and dad just bought me a front row ringside ticket to Britney Spears‘ opening show in New Orleans for Tuesday, even though I already have great seats for Thursday’s show. If you’ve been following this blog, then you must know all the things running through my mind, how excited I must be to be able to see one of my favorite artists on the opening night of her brand new tour (!!!!). But what you probably didn’t know until now is…that a part of me also feels guilty.

I need to say one more thing. If you are jealous of me, you shouldn’t be and I wish you wouldn’t be. Jealousy is dangerous. And all I want is just to be happy.

—-

And they say she’s so lucky
She’s a star
But she cry, cry, cries in the lonely heart
Thinking if there’s nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?

Britney Spears - Lucky

I want to share a couple of things in my room with you. Just something from me to you. Enjoy.

I really love my Gossip Girl poster. I don’t know what I can say about it…it speaks for itself. Oh and just so you know, this poster used to belong on the side of a bus… I bought it on eBay… Wait, did I really do that? Yes.

This is a collage that one of my best friends (shout out to BFFAB, you know who you are) made for me. If I had to choose a poster to describe myself, this would be it. It is the best present I have ever been given. I don’t think she knows that yet.

Oh shit, it’s me. I thought this was a sexy picture of me, but now that I look at it…no, I’m not about to kill you. Someone needs to shave…but it’s going to be too hard so I’ll save it for when I’m desperate.

Yeah, just some things in my room.

If you’re confused, read the 4 posts before this one first. Adnan is definitely a Carrie Underwood fan. Did I just go third person on you? I told myself I wouldn’t do that…but I like it. Oh well. Anyway, “That’s Where It Is” is one of my favorite songs ever not just because it’s so beautiful and lyrically sound, but also because it got me through a really hard time in my life. I’ll go into one of the aspects of that time now. By the way, what you may consider “personal” is not personal for me. The things I don’t share on this blog are what’s really personal (only a few things there).

December 2005. I had set my heart on going to NYU for college, but I didn’t get in. You know what’s funny? The complete change in how I felt then and how I feel now. Back then it felt like my entire life was over. But today? Today I feel like not getting into NYU was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. Ever. Ever. Basically the last 6 months of 2005 were probably the worst and scariest of my life and not getting into NYU was like the cherry on top of a disastrous sundae. I’m thankful to God and my family for helping me come a very long way since 2005. I was 17 then, I’m 20 now. What a difference a few years can make. I love blessings in disguise. Love them. I’m definitely crying a little right now (happy tears).

Thanks Carrie Underwood for such an amazing song. Definitely a favorite. Oh and not all of my favorites are this special…but do you see the power of music and why I love it so much?

P.S. My cheeks are just rosy and I’m definitely not wearing makeup. I bring this up because it’s been asked before. Too many times before. Sigh and lol

Where were you, when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

The Fray - You Found Me

A few days ago I posted about how I felt like I just woke up from a 14 hour nap… Well, today, I did exactly that. When I got back to my room yesterday (after a day that lasted from 7:30 AM to 5:30 PM), I had dinner and did some work. After that, at 8pm, I decided I’d take an hour nap. I didn’t wake up until 9:30 this morning. Now, am I the only person who thinks this is kind of funny? Anyway, I woke up this morning with a very big idea. More on that idea later. That’s my story… I’m sorry if it wasn’t interesting…lol

I’ve been having trouble deciding whether I should go abroad next semester. I know, what is there to think about right? Well, a lot actually. I want to go because it seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity. When else will I get to spend 4 months in another country without the commitments of family, jobs, etc. But on the other hand, I think about all I would miss as a result of being away. I would miss 1/8 of college and college life. I would miss first half of senior year. Most importantly, I would miss all the amazing people and moments I have experienced in college so far. I would miss a semester of opportunity for new people and new relationships. I’d miss a lot of moments. You know, those really serious moments…the laugh out loud hard moments…the ridiculous moments… I think there is a part of me that would always wonder “what if I had gone to Paris?” But likewise, a part of me would always wonder, what if I had never left Emory? I think I just found my answer.

I had an Alpha Kappa Psi commitment today.

All I can say is this:

I saw someone I was.

Someone I am.

And someone I’m going to become.

That’s pretty cool.

I’m sorry if you don’t understand.

Just another thing. I went to LensCrafters [to get my glasses] because they had this promotion: a pair of glasses for $99.00. I went to the store and asked which glasses were eligible for the promotion. They pointed me to a wall full of literally the ugliest glasses I have ever seen in my life. A wall of crap. Hideous. I immediately turned away and just spent the money I knew I was going to spend anyway. I hate when good deals aren’t actually good deals. Other than that though, the service was really great. Well done.

So I have been walking around lately without any vision correction (broke my glasses, ran out of contacts) and let me just say that it’s been kind of nice. And while I’ve enjoyed not being able to see anything clearly, it was time to fix things. I had to be able to see in class…and more importantly, I had to be able to see the TV. So today I went to LensCrafters and got a new pair of glasses. They look pretty much like my last ones, but they have this neon tint to them. They are actually really similar to glasses I had in 8th grade…I broke those because I was trying to prove that my glasses were indestructable..so I dropped them on the floor on purpose…and they broke…fail.

It is really nice to see things clearly now. It reminded me of the first time I got glasses…The leaves looked crunchier and the world more beautiful. It’s that same feeling again. That’s all.

Oh and while I waited for my glasses I totally did some unecessary shopping at Target..just some cool t-shirts and bags of chips.

UPDATE: Both bags of chips are now gone.

Is if you go late to a movie and I seriously mean that. Who wants to miss the first 15 minutes of a movie, even if it is the previews? I hate when people say “it’s okay.” It’s definitely NOT okay. I’d rather just go home and see the entire movie another time. I hate it when people aren’t punctual (even when it’s me)!

But my point of writing isn’t to talk about going late to the movies. It’s to talk about the fact that it’s never too late to follow through with your plans. Sometimes I think about things like, “why didn’t I do something sooner?” But more and more I’ve been thinking, “what if I never met these people? What if I never had this opportunity? What if I never did this?” You come to a point in your life when you have to think, “Is this the person I want to be for the rest of my life?” You owe it to yourself to at least try and get everything you want. Do your thing

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game
Too late for second guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my insticts, close my eyes, and leap
It’s time to try defying gravity
I think I’ll try defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down

I’m through accepting limits cause someone says there so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I’ll never know
Too long I’ve been afraid of losing love, I guess I’ve lost
Well if that’s love, it comes at much too high a cost

Wicked - Defying Gravity

I just got some really heartbreaking news involving a friend and I need everyone to do me one favor.

Can you take one quick second to tell your family that you love them? Please?

To my beautiful family: I love you so much and don’t know where I’d be or what I’d do without you. Thank you for always being there for me and I’m so  sorry I take our time together for granted sometimes. You are the only loves of my life and I’m so grateful for you (even if I clearly don’t show it sometimes). Everything I am is because of you. I love you and I’ll see you very soon.

Please do me that favor. My whole heart goes out to anyone that has been affected by the recent plane crash in Buffalo, NY. Please be strong and God bless.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you, dear
Leona Lewis - “Run”